Today I've managed to waste several hours sitting in front of the computer, doing anything (and everything) other than reformatting my CV. This is a problem, as the 'Powers That Be' require it today.
Oh dear...
Naturally, I realise what the time is, and in a blind panic I jump straight to my blog and start typing. I believe the kids used to call that "Epic Fail" (I have no idea what they call it these days).
So in a desperate attempt at motivating myself, today's photo is of my favourite "alone spot" in Wellington. This is a photo I took a couple of years ago of the place I used to sit when I needed to collect my thoughts, think, or just enjoy some sun on a rare summer day.
This isn't the first time I have attempted to blog. Once upon a time this blog was dubbed "The House of Hazel Caine", and while it started out entertaining, it quickly deteriorated into a self-indulgent pity-fest that I eventually deleted.
I currently have three followers - two, who are wonderful women I've known "virtually" for a few years now, and one - a fellow Northland Bogan who I once worked with. I'm not entirely sure whether any of these followers actually read my posts, but what I've come to realise is that having people praise me or tear me down is no longer an issue for me. I simply enjoy it.
I enjoy writing whatever comes to mind. I enjoy talking to this electronic "Dear Diary" medium. I enjoy celebrating my life, instead of wishing it was something else...
And that's all I can ask for everybody else - that they find something they enjoy. When I sing, I always tell myself: "You don't have to be good at something in order to love it.", and I really think that's relevant now. Maybe my posts are an insult to good grammar, and I'm overly fond of the coma, but who cares - I'm having a blast.
Moe reckons that every time I post, I offload a little of the drama I've been carrying around. Maybe he's right, but whatever.
All I know for sure is that I've seen a lot of films, and heard a lot of music, and I want to share them with the world.
So tonight, I'll leave you with this little "feel good" song of mine. I'm a huge fan of The Cure, and this is one of the songs I blast whenever I feel FANTASTIC!!! I hope it makes you smile, just as much as it makes me.
"History teaches us that men behave wisely... once they've exhausted all other alternatives." - Hughie, Still Crazy
Every once in a while I'll stumble across a movie that aims straight for my heart, and then fires. A few years back (and then a couple more) I was working at one of the many call centres that I have worked in, and would kill the hours by talking to the English guy that sat next to me. Most of our conversations involved me screaming at him to shut up while he did Borat vocal impressions, and tormented me with Chuck Norris jokes. However, when these grew tiresome for him the focus would turn to Nick Hornby novels, music, and movies.
When the subject of Bill Nighy came up one day, I began raving about his brilliant role in the film "Love Actually". His portrayal of Billy Mack - an aged rocker, desperate to reclaim the fame and glory he once had was (and still is) legendary in my eyes.
And then Mr Englishman said the magic words: "Oh, so I suppose you've seen Still Crazy then?". What? Pffft - never heard of it. Mr Englisman felt that simply wouldn't do... The next day I arrived at work to find a DVD sitting on my desk.
I was beyond stunned that I'd never heard of this film before. The cast was packed full of favourites of mine - Billy Connolly, Timothy Spall, Stephen Rea and musician Jimmy Nail. Billy Nighy, of course was there on the cover looking like Rock 'n Roll leftovers, and it had even been nominated for Golden Globe awards. Mr Englishman was right to be appalled by my ignorance. I took the DVD home that night, and instantly fell in love. This movie was everything about the 1970's rock genre that I love!
Strange Fruit are a band on the verge of global stardom in the 1970's, when their singer dies of a drug overdose. The band - determined to carry on, replace him with Ray Simms (Nighy), though their constant fighting and theatrics come to blows during a festival performance when their stage is hit by lightening. This ends the band, and they all go their separate ways.
Twenty years later, Tony (Rea) is recognised by the son of the man who had set up the festival, and Tony decides to round up the band and see if they can have another go. They've all fallen into the mundane world of "regular life". Marriage, divorce, mediocre jobs - they've all given up on the idea of becoming the legendary band that they almost were. European tour? Sure, why not.
Accompanied by Hughie (Connolly) - their original roadie, and their ever faithful manager, Karen they set off to see if they're able to bury the past and grab hold of the second chance that they're finally being offered.
Look for a very young Hans Matheson (Sherlock Holmes, Clash of the Titans) playing Luke - the bands new guitarist, and Bruce Robinson (Oscar Nominee for Best Screenplay for the 1984 film "The Killing Fields") in one of his rare acting appearances.
This movie is a brilliant mixture of hilarity, sadness, regret, and rejuvenation, and is accompanied by a fantastic soundtrack that will leave you feeling good, and humming for days. Watch it. Right now.
Today was a day of procrastinating and wine. I've discovered that job hunting on the internet is harder than it sounds. To begin with, I have an automatic reflex when opening my browser to head straight to the "Facebook" favourite. This is probably the biggest waste of time that I currently enjoy. I don't really do much on Facebook, but I seem to spend hours there without much effort.
Secondly - most of my friends are employed at mindless organisations where they spend their days sitting in front of a computer, which gives me people to email about nothing for hours on end.
There's always something going on, on Twitter.
There's always something to play on iTunes.
There's always something stupid to laugh at on YouTube.
All in all, job hunting just becomes a series of websites to stare at all day, that have nothing to do with job hunting.
I did manage to update my CV, which didn't really take much effort considering that I've only worked for three months in the last year. I attempted to write a cover letter that included a pleading paragraph on why my being at the other end of the island should not deter potential employers from hiring me. And then happy hour rolled around...
Suffice to say, not an awful lot got done once the wine glass had been filled. This is unfortunate for my job hunting and my current attempt to return to my pre-wed jean size. At the moment I'm allowed 40 food points per day, and wine is six points per glass. I have consumed three glasses of wine tonight... Crap.
Tomorrow is the dreaded "weigh in" where the scales scream at me to get the hell off them before I do them permanent damage. Last week I managed to make the number go down, which has lead to me believe that this week I can drink twice as much wine...
Today's photograph is somewhat uninspired, but gardening always makes me happy. It's relaxing. It gives you a sense of achievement. It lets you enjoy the sun while still being productive. Not to mention, home grown always tastes so much better.
Mum and I grow peas and strawberries for my baby niece every year because she loves sitting in the garden stuffing her face. Apparently this was a trait that I was known for at her age, which explains why mum has never used sprays or pesticides in her gardens.
26 January 2011. That was the date that I left Wellington and returned to my home town. I had planned to hit the 'restart' button on my life. It didn't really work out that way, and now just days away from the anniversary of my supposed do over I struggle to list the things I have achieved in the last 12 months.
I cleared two thousand dollars worth of debt. Yes, lets put that one in the "PRO" column. I'm 30 years old, with a divorce pending. I'm currently living at home with my mum. I'm unemployed. I've gained seven kilograms. Alright, lets stop reviewing things now...
Exactly. It's time to stop looking over the things in my past. It was a hard year, but it's not this year. A new year. A new blog. I've changed the name from the sad tale that was "The House of Hazel Caine", and removed all of the old posts that tended to make 15 year old emo kids look joyously optimistic in comparison. A fresh start, and a monkey named Moe.
Moe. My voice of reason. He was the first thing that I took possession of when I returned to this tiny little town. I found him in my mother's spare bedroom while I was unpacking. My mum said had come from a friend of hers. I guess she thought that one of the grandchildren might like it, but he'd just sat there gathering dust.
I gave him a vacuum, and on the rare occasion that I not only got out of bed, but also made it, he took pride of place on my pillows. I feel that this led to his somewhat 'snooty' attitude. He suddenly became very pompous and far too logical for anyone's benefit. Whenever I passed judgement on this he would point out that it was entirely my fault, as any personality that he had was all inside my head anyway. He is after all, a stuffed monkey.
I can only conclude thatI spent far too many days inside the house, and on my own. Call it self-induced Cabin Fever if you will (Moe certainly likes to), but he really has been my buddy over the last year. Got a problem? Talk to Moe. Need a rant? Rant to Moe. Just don't expect him to tell you what you want to hear, because that monkey loves to call it as he sees it. With all of his faults though, he is definitely good for cuddling when scary thunder shakes the house.
Moe and I are going to have a very busy year. He's going to make sure I don't cheat with my exercising, and stuff myself with cookies when I think he isn't watching. He's going to bark orders at me when I'm playing games online, instead of applying for jobs. He'll help me try to be more positive, and a little bit kinder to myself. Moe will help me take more photos - a hobby that I've missed. He will encourage me and keep me moving forward, and if that goes well he may even convince me to start writing again...
But for now, I'll leave you with this little gem that I stumbled across on youtube. Happy Monday, everybody!
